The thing is though, when face to face, flirting is a breeze – a woman playing with her hair, a man holding your gaze just that little bit longer than necessary and, with subtlety, mirroring every move you make. All the little add-ons to the conversation that make it quite clear, without actually putting it into words, that you’re interested in each other.

But what about flirting online?

Ok, so you could use your webcam, but how many of us feel confident doing that until we’re really familiar with someone?

No – if you’re trying to get to know someone via the internet, words are your secret weapon.

photo credit: dyanna

For a lot of you, I guess that feels pretty freaky! I mean, we’re not all great at writing, are we?

That’s no big deal. Think about it – if you’re nervous or afraid of rejection, isn’t it a heck of a lot easier to take if you’re not actually face to face with somebody?

Doesn’t that lack of pressure immediately make you loosen up and be able to find the words you want to say when you’d ordinarily be tongue-tied? Of course it does!

Listed below are a few, simple pointers to follow as you ease yourself into email flirting without getting all hot under the collar. You’ll soon be making it quite clear to the person on the receiving end that you’d love to get to know them a whole lot better.

Online or offline – flirting is about having fun!

Keep things fun and light hearted. Be entertaining and avoid getting too heavy. You want him or her to enjoy “talking” with you and be eagerly waiting to receive your next email.

Play the game

You know when you’re watching a game of tennis and the two players get into a really great volley that has everyone one the edge of their seat, waiting to see who’s going to break first? Well, that’s just what great online flirting is like. Short, sassy, confident emails flying to and fro. You can feel the excitement and anticipation of the return landing in your inbox from the moment you hit send.

Come clean

Tell the truth. Don’t create some imaginary persona or claim the looks of a movie star just to add a bit of oomph to your emails. The person on the receiving end will just be angry and disappointed when they find out the truth.

Look to the future

A word of warning. Don’t ask them about past relationships. You want your emails to be positive and forward looking. Why dredge up what’s gone before when all you’re really interested in is being a part of their future?

Check, check and check again

Show some courtesy and take the time to check over your emails before you send them for spelling and grammar mistakes. It’s just good old-fashioned courtesy and you can guarantee it’ll get you noticed.

Ask flirtatious questions

Where is the most romantic place you’d like to go on a date? What’s your favourite flavour of ice-cream? Where would your dream holiday destination for you and your lover be? Asking light-hearted questions is a good way to get someone communicating with you. We all like it when someone shows an interest and it’s a great opportunity for you to find out more about them.

Be careful what you say

It’s really easy for the content of an email to be misconstrued. The number of misunderstandings that take place online would provide enough content to put comedy screen writers out of work for the next hundred years. You might be able to laugh about it later, but at the time it might not be so funny. Try and make sure your tone is easy to determine and that what you say doesn’t have more than one meaning and you should be fine

Finally facing reality

So you’ve been flirting for some time and the tension between you is palpable. You’ve got some thinking to do. What if you meet up and the reality doesn’t compare to the fantasy you’ve been living online? Are you prepared to take that risk? If the answer is yes, then go for it. Jump in your car, catch that train, get on an aeroplane. Do whatever it takes. Just be prepared to deal with the consequences of bringing your online relationship to life – whatever those consequences may be!

The thing is though it’s not always easy, especially as men and women tend to have such differing styles of communicating.

Most men seem to have the capacity to “compartmentalize” their feelings and deal with one issue at a time. A woman, on the other hand, tends to keep everything interlinked and so if discussing her relationship will bring up all the things, which to her, are related.

This can lead to “emotion overwhelm” for the man as he finds this approach just way to intimidating.

For any relationship to be successful, each partner needs to have their needs met and get what they ideally want from being with the other person. To achieve this, all we really need to do is ask. However, most of us don’t think that this is possible and continue to bottle up our frustration, simmer in silence and become gradually disillusioned with what we have with our partners.

If you can relate to this then one of the best ways to get your partner to give you what you want is to first of all give “it”, to them. The old adage of “treating people as you’d expect to be treated” is equally true when applied to our closest relationships.

If you want your partner to be kinder, more sensitive, more proactive etc, then first of all take a good look at yourself. You may be surprised to find that you are not exactly giving the best of yourself to your mate either.

Another area where we often “fall flat” is by simply being too argumentative.

When we are unhappy with our partner, we quite often let emotion overrule our thoughts and start to communicate in a fashion that leads to our mate feeling like they are under attack.

photo credit: victoriapeckham

If there is something that is upsetting you, try to maintain a bit of self-control and state your case in a simple, factual manner. Present your feelings in a statement rather than a whining tirade.

For example, if your partner has done something that upsets you, simply point it out to them by saying, “Last night you said/did “whatever” and it hurt my feelings. Please don’t do that again”.

It might sound simplistic but it tends to work. Firstly, you’re stating a fact that cannot be denied whilst explaining how you were made to feel and then asking, quite clearly, that they don’t do “it” again.

The chances of the discussion leading into a full-blown argument are vastly reduced and you have made yourself quite clear without the two of you getting upset and falling out

Another “communicating crime” we all tend to commit is that of “not hearing” what our partner is actually saying to us.

We might listen to the words coming out of the mouth of our boyfriend/wife etc, but are we actually “hearing” what it is they are trying to tell us?

Many of us, the moment someone attempts to speak to us about sensitive issues, become extremely defensive. We start to pick out certain words and, unintentionally, distort their meaning by taking them out of context. We start to attach our own agenda to whatever it is the other person is trying to say to us.

A lot of this boils down to the perception we have of ourselves rather than the way the person we love actually feels about us. Would this person be with you in the first place if they didn’t already think you were great?

Be realistic – nobody is perfect and if the person you are in love with tries to discuss a relationship issue with you, listen to what they have to say without feeling like you are under attack.

Think about whatever they are saying, don’t jump to conclusions but do try your hardest to see things from their point of view. This way, you’ll gain greater insight into their character whilst seeing yourself from another persons’ standpoint – which is often a lot more positive than the one we have of ourselves!

Start off by trying one or all of these suggestions for developing better communications skills in your relationships and see how you get on. Things might not improve overnight but, given time, you’ll be surprised at how things can change.

photo credit: MM S

After weeks of talking and getting to know someone online, you’ve finally taken the plunge and set up your first date together.

The evening is drawing to a close and you’ve had a great time but you’re starting to get nervous. The minutes are counting down, bringing you closer and closer to that exciting, almost inevitable moment at the end of the evening – your first kiss.

You really want to kiss him/her but you are so nervous you’re just not sure how to go about it.

So much hinges on the first kiss. Kissing, after all, is known to trigger a string of reflex chemical reactions in our minds and throughout our bodies.

We kiss with tenderness, passion, desire and emotion. We kiss because it makes us feel good and strengthens bonds we already share with the person we are kissing.

It is the unspoken prelude to that which is the ultimate state of all lovers – ecstasy, joy and fulfilment. No wonder so many of us are filled with anxiety at the thought of the first kiss – the moment that can make a difference between just a nice night out and the start of the rest of your life.

We’ve put together a few tips on the art of how and when to just lick your lips and get kissing!

1. Be kissable!

“Where should one use perfume?”a young woman asked.
“Wherever one wants to be kissed,”I said.
Coco Chanel

Humans, like most other living creatures, are highly sensitive to the scent of the opposite sex. Making sure you are freshly showered and have a pack of breath mints handy is a good idea. And whilst most men and women wear some form of aftershave/perfume, try not to use too much or you’ll over power that which is most desirable of all – the imperceptible aroma of your own sexual pheromones!

2. Make sure you read the signs properly!

The worst thing a man can ever do is kiss me on the first date.
Halle Berry

Ok – so we’re all different. But wouldn’t it be terrible if you mis-read the signs and tried to kiss him/her when they really were not ready? So how can you tell if your advances are going to be welcomed or not?

Well, pay attention to signals that say the other person is “into you” and ready for that first kiss. Are they getting a bit “touchy feely”, brushing up against you and flirting with you? Has the subject of kissing come up in conversation?

If you haven’t noticed any subtle signs that this person would like to be kissed, try sending out a few signals of your own and see what sort of response you get. Maybe they’re just shy and waiting for you to make the first move?

3. Getting the timing right

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
Ingrid Bergman

There really shouldn’t be any big rush when it comes to your first kiss. Wait for the signs and give expectation and anticipation a chance to work their magic. The time will come when words really will become superfluous and the only thing left to do will be to kiss.

4. Going in for the kiss

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine.
Eduardo Galeano

By the time you’re ready to kiss, chances are you’re already pretty close together – whether you’re strolling home hand in hand or sat with your heads almost touching, deep in conversation in a restaurant. Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, just try to relax and enjoy it.

As you lean into kiss, tip your head to one side and look into your partner’s eyes, closing them once your lips have made contact. Hold hands, put your arm around their waist, bury your fingers in their hair as you enjoy the sensation of your mouths gently exploring each other for the very first time.

Feel your toes tingle and enjoy every single second.

5. Simply make the kiss the reason for the kiss….

Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips.
Percy Bysshe Shelley

Clear your mind and just “feel” the kiss. Experience the sensations flowing through your body and feel the beating of your heart. Don’t think about what comes next, don’t think about whether you’re “doing it right”, never worry about how you might look, don’t wonder what your partner is thinking – don’t think, period.

Just feel.

The best kissers concentrate solely on the kiss and seem not to expect anything more than the pleasure to be had from such an intimate act of sharing between two people.

So enjoy the soft caress of each others’ lips and stop worrying about where it may or may not lead!

I look at my watch – 1pm. All the shops and tavernas will be closing their shutters and doors for the afternoon. Holiday-makers and inhabitants of the tiny fishing village retreating to their villas and homes, sensibly escaping the burning heat.

But this is my favourite time of day – the intensity of the sun scorching my body as the bone melting rays pin me to the sand that I lie baking myself on. I stretch and close my eyes, luxuriating in the feeling of being almost naked, drenched in glorious sunshine.

I must have slept for a little while because I suddenly realise that what little tide there is on the island has come in and water is lapping at my toes. Sitting up and glancing along the beach, I see one other foolhardy sun-worshipper lay on his towel, looking out to sea.

Realising I’m thirsty I pick up my bag, leaving my towel and clothes where they are. Wrapping a sarong around my naked breasts, I head to the rocky outcrop at the end of the beach where ice cold beer, in the scruffy beach shack that seems to be open 24 hours a day, beckons.

Sitting at the only table outside the shack, I slowly sip my drink from the bottle. I watch as the man I’d noticed a few moments earlier stands and starts to walk towards where I’m sat, probably needing to quench his thirst too.

As he walks past me, he smiles and nods but doesn’t speak. When he’s bought his beer, he comes back out and gestures to the other chair at my table, as though asking if it’s ok for him to be seated.

“Please do”, I say. “Oh, you’re English”, he replies, “I thought perhaps you were Greek yourself, being so dark”.

I laugh and comment that the Greeks have far more sense than us English, staying out in the afternoon heat.

He’s quite a bit older than me and he smiles a lot as he talks about nothing in particular. I like his eyes, the way they sort of hold my gaze a second longer than they really should. They sparkle, as though he knows what he’s doing.

We both finish our beer and stand to head off back down the beach.

It’s when we start to walk that I realise how tall he is and I have to keep looking up at him when I speak. We reach his towel first and pause for a moment to finish our conversation, then I carry on back to my spot.

After a few steps, I turn round to find him still watching me. I smile and ask him if he’d like to bring his things down to where I’ve been lay.

He lies next to me and we carry on talking, but this time there’s an edge to our conversation and I can feel myself getting excited. I look around the beach and can see no-one.

Taking a chance, I turn back to him and ask if he’d mind putting some sun cream on my back for me, passing him the bottle so he doesn’t really have much choice in the matter.

I remove my sarong and turn to lie on my tummy, but not before he catches sight of my semi-nakedness.

The cool flow of sun lotion as it lands on my bare skin makes me shiver. His strong hands get to work and slowly spread the cream between my shoulder blades and up to my neck in a sweeping circular motion. A little moan escapes my lips as I feel the tension in my shoulders dissolving, but realise it is starting to build elsewhere.

The rubbing and kneading of the muscles in my back goes on for some minutes before I become aware of his hands starting to work their way lower until they arrive at the edge of my bikini pants.

I hold my breath, wondering what he’ll do next. Will he sense the need I have for him to slide his fingers beneath the cloth and get to work on the cheeks of my bottom? He pauses for a moment, then gently slips one hand under my pants and begins to knead the soft flesh beneath.

I want to grind my crotch down into the hot sand beneath me, but I’m afraid this might make him stop. So instead, I lie still and try to control my breathing, which is becoming faster as each second goes by.

Suddenly, his hand slides from my bottom and he gets hold of my hip-bone, rolling me over until I am lay on my back, looking straight up into his eyes. Neither of us speaks, we just smile as he gets the bottle of sun lotion and lazily draws a snaking pattern with the slippery white content all over my stomach and finally my breasts.

I can’t believe this is happening. “Close your eyes”, he whispers and I obey him.

The thought of being massaged so sensuously in the middle of the exposed but deserted beach excites me almost as much as the actual sensations that are hitting my body. He slowly draws his fingertips through the cream on my skin, starting at my navel and working his way out over my tummy, light as a feather.

I draw my knees up and stifle a moan as I fight the urge to push his hand lower, between my thighs. I don’t know how I resist.

Gradually, he starts to work his way up and over my ribs. My nipples are hurting they are so tight and aching to be touched. But he teases me and after gently circling each breast, he moves away to my collarbone and then up to my lips.

My tongue snakes out and licks his fingers, drawing the middle one between my lips where I gently simulate what I’d like to be doing to his cock.

For the first time, I hear him make a telltale noise of desire and I realise that his need for release is becoming as great as mine.

He takes his hand away and I lie still in anticipation for him to resume his journey around my body, hoping that this time he’ll give my breasts the attention they desperately crave.

But instead of his hands, it is his mouth that I suddenly become aware of on my skin. His tongue tracing tiny, barely there circles around my left nipple, so light and feathery as to be almost unbearable.

I gasp out loud. I want him to just take me, right now. I want him to tear my bikini pants off and pound me into the sand.

He senses my growing need and whilst now starting to bite gently at my nipple, he places one of his hands on the top of my thigh, just nudging the edge of my pants. I feel his thumb land directly on my clitoris, separated by only a thin slip of black nylon that is stretched tight across my sex.

The sensation of his touch through the cloth is somehow even more erotic than if he had been touching the naked slippery flesh itself. I can now hardly control myself, but I’m determined to lie still and keep my eyes closed, letting him do as he pleases as his intention is obviously to please me.

Sucking hard on my breast now, his rubbing between my thighs is becoming more insistent until I realise that with his other hand, he’s undone the string bow at my hip and I feel myself exposed to the burning rays of the sun. I almost orgasm there and then.

There’s no gentle teasing any longer. He lifts his head and sees my shaven pussy and forcefully thrusts his fingers deep inside me. I’m so wet and ready that they slide straight in.

I spread my legs as wide as I can and push my groin up to meet each thrust of his hand. Each time I bang against his palm, my clitoris throbs and pulsates, almost tipping me over the edge.

He dips his head down between my thighs and, feeling the tip of his tongue against my skin, I fear I can’t hold back any longer.

As though he senses this, with one final thrust of his fingers, he quickly removes his hand and presses his face into my sex – sucking, licking and biting as I have the most powerful orgasm of my entire life.

It takes me quite a while to recover, and when I do, I open my eyes to see him smiling down at me.

I return his smile as I simply say, “I think you’d better pass me the cream – you look like you’re starting to burn”.

They are potentially connected, but certainly not the same.

Sex can be just sex.

Sex with intimacy can be like nothing else

Intimacy takes time.

It is about sharing, connecting, caring and bonding. It’s revelation, entwinement and devotion.

To be intimate with someone means freely expressing yourself without holding back. Being able to unmask yourself, becoming vulnerable and exposed.

The sharing of secrets, private tales, hidden thoughts and inner desires

Oneness.

Continuous, honest communication – in person, over the phone, by post or by email. The building of trust, affinity – anticipation.

Be fearless. Accepting yourself is harder than accepting another.

Forgive and forget – that goes for yourself as well as others. Take a chance.

Sexual intimacy can be exchanged in a single word

It’s arousal. It’s pleasure in this moment.

Share yourself with another, and accept and embrace the other as they share themselves with you.

Be open and treasure it

Don’t be afraid of the consequences.

Intimacy……..“into – me – see”

It seemed almost like a full time occupation!

I bet you and your friends would spend ages analyzing and advising each other on techniques to use and rules to follow in order to succeed.

It was a bit like having your own little version of the Sex and the City girls going on – talking about what to wear, where to go, when to call, when not to call and all the rest of it.

Suddenly though, we meet “the one”, settle down, have children and live a life of wedded bliss and slowly but surely forget all the stuff we learned about successfully dealing with the opposite sex.

So when the fairytale comes to a sudden and abrupt end and we are thrust unceremoniously back into the dating arena – well, we simply no longer have a clue what to do!

Sure enough, we start behaving like complete idiots rather than the epitome of  dating sophistication that we once were. We act desperate, call too often, laugh too much, ask the wrong questions and just basically lay ourselves wide open to being taken for a ride and getting hurt all over again.

Like it or not, dating is a game to be played and like all games, there are certain rules to follow to make sure you get to the end – passing “go” and picking up a few treats on the way!

If you want to find and keep your perfect match without getting hurt or losing your head, just refresh your memory with these few simple guidelines on how to play the game and win!

A Few General Dating Rules

Always make an effort to look good. I’m not saying you should be judged on your looks, but it is just good manners to make an effort when meeting your date.

Enigmatic women drive men wild. It pays not to reveal too much too soon!

Use your manners and lay off the bottle. Getting drunk, forgetting your “please and thank-yous”, arriving late – they all go towards creating an unfavourable impression rather than eliciting a second date.

Dating a married man is a ticket to getting your heart broken. Only rarely do they ever leave “the wife”. You’re just allowing yourself to be an amusing diversion. You deserve better.

Try dating “a different type”. It was your “usual type” that put you in the position you’re in!

If he starts showing signs of neediness and insecurity, head for the hills! Chances are, you’ve already got children – you’re looking for a man, not a boy.

Never ever talk about past lovers and how they “performed”. Men do not like it – ‘nough said.

Don’t ever tell lies to your date. A year down the line when you’re blissfully in love, all can be shattered by the discovery of that one untruth when you were just starting out. Besides, you’re good enough as you are – you don’t need to make things up just to impress! Good relationships are based on honesty and trust.

Should you or shouldn’t you? You know what I mean! Sex on the first date…. Well, in my opinion, it’s a no-no. I wouldn’t think much of him afterwards, and I’m pretty sure it’d change his opinion of me too!

Finally – be safe! And I don’t just mean if you choose to ignore my last piece of advice. (Incidentally, women can buy condoms too you know). Anyway, tell your friends when you’re meeting him, where you’re meeting and make sure you take your phone.

Always remember, you’re gorgeous, you’re funny, you’re fabulous and the world is your oyster!
 

Older men are more interested in pleasing you for as long as possible before pleasing themselves. If you’re used to younger guys that just dive in there and don’t give you any thought and consideration, you’re in for a treat!

Baggage

We’ve all got it in one way, shape or form. The thing is though, older men realize this and tend to take it all in their stride. They’re more laid back and have been around enough to have a more philosophical take on life than younger, less mature men.

Romance

Confidence is something that often develops with age. An older man will have the self-confidence ,as well as thoughtfulness, to say and carry out romantic gestures – unlike his younger counterpart who just thinks that kind of thing is for jessies!

Supportive

Older men are usually a lot more secure in themselves and less likely to see a woman with drive and ambition as a threat. Indeed, with his contacts and life experiences, it’s more likely that he’ll play a large part in you securing your dreams.

And finally……….

He’s ready to settle down

Unlike younger men, a guy who has sown a few wild oats and got a lot of youthful wilfulness out of his system is more likely to want to settle down and commit to a monogamous relationship.
 

There’s a heck of a lot of older people “out there” and back in the dating game!

These new statistics have also brought with them a new and unprecedented trend – that of older women dating younger men. This shouldn’t come as any surprise considering today’s older woman usually works out and looks great well into middle age and beyond.

Physical attraction isn’t the only thing she’s got going for her either.

Older women are more likely to be a lot more self-assured, completely at ease with their sexuality, know how to make a man feel good, be far more interesting, successful and self-reliant.

All things that a lot of younger men find an irresistible alternative to needy, angst ridden, insecure “twenty-somethings”, who are often on the lookout for a meal ticket and emotional crutch!

You can pretty much guarantee that if an older woman is involved with a man of any age, it’s because she “wants” to be with him rather than “needs” to be.

But why would an older woman want to be with a younger guy anyway?

Well, have you come across the phrase “Cougar Women”?

photo credit: ndanger

It’s the name that is often applied to older women who actively pursue younger men for love, sex and relationships.

I guess it is sex and passion that first springs to mind when you think about it.

Women reach their sexual peak at a much later age than men – therefore the younger man/older woman combination can be sexual dynamite.

But there are many reasons beyond sexual appetite and lusting after a young, well-toned male physique that inspires a cougar to go for a much younger partner.

Younger men tend to be much less cynical about life and more open to excitement and adventure. An older woman, fresh out of a dull and draining marriage will find this a real turn on and a means to getting the thrills from life that she now seeks.

A lot of older women also enjoy the opportunity to mold and mentor their younger partner as he ages and matures. That way, she enjoys a sense of power as she introduces him to aspects of life that he might not yet have experienced.

This can be a huge turn on for a younger man as he is gently (or sometimes roughly!) taken by the hand and shown the way by a sophisticated older woman confident in herself and her abilities.

There are many cougar women in the public spotlight who have chosen to live their lives with younger men – Susan Sarandon, Madonna, Demi Moore amongst them.

As is often the way, the celebrity seal of approval for a new phenomenon is often all it takes for it to soon become accepted as the norm.

However, in today’s society, opportunity for idle, face-to-face chatting is sadly diminished. At work, at the shops, at the gym  – everyone is on a schedule and nobody has time to stop to actually talk and get to know each other.

One of the reasons why social networking and online dating sites have enjoyed such phenomenal success is that they provide that missing opportunity.

Take, for example, online dating sites.

Providing you’ve signed up with a decent and reputable company, offering a safe and secure system, you can relax and get to know people in an environment where all you really have to think about is just that – getting to know someone!

They are not in a position to impact on your real, day-to-day life until you are ready to give your consent. This in itself positively encourages individuals to really communicate with someone and say – or rather write – from the heart.

We are used to being bombarded with messages telling us that image and appearance is our most important asset when it comes to attracting a new partner. Whilst physical attraction is obviously important, it is relationships founded on true friendship with real knowledge and understanding of each other that stand the greatest chance of surviving the test of time.

In fact many couples whose relationship started out online, state that it was there that they learned the value and importance of putting aside time to actually talk and communicate with each other beyond a brief discussion on what’s for dinner and who is organising the babysitter.

Parallels can also be drawn between the old fashioned courtship of yesteryear and the manner in which two people engaged in an online relationship conduct their affair. The anticipation of reply to an email is similar to that of couples who would have communicated by letter – all adding to the romance of such a situation.

And with regard to sex and seduction, it is often those who are less able to articulate their real wants and desires in the offline world that can really benefit from the freedom provided by the Internet. The shyness they may experience when face-to-face with a lover diminishes with the written word.

It is also the most shy and sensitive who are often the most successful online seducers!

In summary, to realize that it is the art of communication, flirtation, articulate seduction and honest expression that is at the heart of successful online affairs is refreshing and reassuring in a world that is now deemed shallow and jaded by image enhancement and spin.
 

Ok – so you’re ready to start looking for a new boyfriend?

Let me guess – you’re nervous/shy/scared/confused about getting back out there again?

Well d’you know what? That’s ok. In fact it’s perfectly normal.

Breaking up, especially if it was a long-term relationship, can really knock you for six. It’s pretty common for women to say they lost a lot of self-confidence and had low esteem – especially about their looks.

If this sounds like you, then stop worrying right now!

Regaining your confidence and feeling good about yourself is easy if you just put a bit of thought into bringing the inner you back to life and remembering just how fabulous you truly are.

1. Start telling yourself that you’re lovely, sexy, funny, desirable –

all the things that you actually are but just can’t see right now. Surround yourself with uplifting and positive friends who all think you’re wonderful. And when someone pays you a compliment, accept it with a gracious “thank you”. Banish that little demon who sits on your shoulder whispering negative nonsense in your ear and replace him with George Clooney, whispering what he’d like to be doing to you right now!

2. Start looking after yourself 

Go to the beauty salon and have a massage, get a facial. Buy yourself some new clothes – and if you’re unsure about what to get, take your best friend for advice. Cherish yourself! Not only will it make you look good, but you’ll start feeling good too. Valuing yourself brings about a whole series of changes to your whole being. You become more confident and get your inner glow back. You’ll start to sparkle again.

3. Start wearing your sexiest underwear more often

Ok – so nobody is going to see it at the moment, but when you walk into a room and spot a gorgeous man, you’ll be amazed at the difference it makes to your confidence knowing that underneath your clothes, you look hot enough to melt chocolate! Just do it for yourself.

4. Start flirting

I don’t mean flicking your hair and rolling your eyes at every man that takes your fancy either. Flirting is about more than that. It’s about connecting with people, men and women, and making them feel special. It’s about walking into a room, head held high, smile on your face and genuinely charming the pants off everyone present. Good communication skills and real inner confidence are a lethal weapon when it comes to drawing new people into your life.

5. Start letting the real you shine

If there’s one thing that’s more attractive to a man than anything, it’s a woman with a “this is me, take it or leave it because either way I don’t give a damn!” attitude. Don’t look at a man and wonder what he thinks of you. Look at him and ask yourself what do you think of him?! Is he good enough for you? There’s no big rush – take your time. If you genuinely fancy someone, great, but just go slow. Get to know him first. Talk. Find out about him and remind yourself that you’re back in charge of your own life now – and about to have some fun!

Whatever it is you want from life, the key to getting it is self-belief

Believe you are gorgeous. Believe you are confident. Believe you are worthy of true love. Believe you deserve to be happy.

When you start to think it, you’ll start to act it.

When you start to act is when you’ll start to attract it.

Your life is about to take a turn for the better.