deman72 asked:


I’m currently dating this wonderful lady who has ended a relationship 6 months ago. I’m a very patient person but do any one have any advice on this situation?
Ok let me explain…. we’ve been on 2 dates already and on both dates we had a great time however when I tried to kiss her on the 2nd date she pulled back and explained because she’s a little apprehensive due to her previous relationship and I stated to her that I’m a patience person that I totally understand what she’s has gone through.

5 Comments on Any advice on dating someone who had a previous relationship?

?sesna? on Thu, 2nd Oct 2008 12:54 am


Dont’ be jealous.
Think about the future.

I_Love_Life! on Thu, 2nd Oct 2008 4:58 am


Unless you are 14, you are going to be hard pressed to find someone that hasn’t had a prior relationship. What is the problem? Is she still mooning over the past? If so, then walk away, and if not, why worry about things you can’t change.

Lprod on Sun, 5th Oct 2008 2:18 pm


Excuse me, what situation??? I think that, unless you and she are 15 years old, ANY woman you date will have had a previous relationship in her story, if not several. I’m sure you’ve had other relationships yourself, haven’t you? You don’t provide further info so I don’t know what the problem is with her having had a previous relationship. If you’re concerned about the time between her break up and your dating (i.e. that it might be too short), I think you knew what you were getting into when you first dated her and I don’t see any problem with dating someone 6 months later….. why would it be too short? Unless she still has feelings for the guy and hasn’t gotten over the break up…….. which is a totally different story. Don’t date her AND wait for her to get over it at the same time because you’re bound for some heartache (seeing her cry for him, listen to her stories with the guy, etc.). But if she’s ready for dating again and no one will be hurt, what’s the prob??

Would you answer my question? Thanks…..

stacey f on Wed, 8th Oct 2008 5:26 am


It is hard now a days to find anyone who has not been in a relationship. My advice is to take things slow.

Jack Stone on Wed, 8th Oct 2008 7:24 pm


I would ignore her previous relationship — completely, seriously — as if it never existed, and encourage her (I mean guide her without talking about it) in the same direction.

Her previous relationship really should have nothing to do with you. If she is still not “over” him, then that is a problem but it is not your problem, really. I know that sounds harsh, but I mean YOU focus on doing what YOU do. You focus on being YOU.

One of the important steps for her to move on is for you to offer her a NEW life, a new experience, a change from the past. So you just focus on being you, and act like the past never existed. That gives her something new to experience, an entirely different life to enter into.

As far as not kissing you, again, that is silly. If she becomes comfortable enough to kiss you, it won’t make any difference if she had a past relationship or not.

Regardless of what she says, she has not gotten comfortable enough with you, aroused enough, to kiss. Even if she had never dated anyone, you would be in that same place. Again, you focus on you… romancing her. Make her feel romantic toward you. When she is comfortable kissing you, she will forget the past.

So again, don’t take your eye off the ball. Focus on romancing her from who YOU are, as if the last guy never existed. THe less she thinks about him the better.

And ultimately, you either make her feel like she wants to kiss you, or she’s not the right one for you.

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