InvicibleStar asked:
I always hear women saying they want a nice guy but they are always sleeping with these ‘players’ and ignoring us nice guys. Then, when you’re in your 30′s, you want to marry the nice guy who couldn’t get none only after you’ve slept with dozens of these players. It doesn’t seem all that fair. What gives? Is this what feminism has done to women. (Now I’m not pinning this on every single woman out there, just the ones who know who they are)
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I always hear women saying they want a nice guy but they are always sleeping with these ‘players’ and ignoring us nice guys. Then, when you’re in your 30′s, you want to marry the nice guy who couldn’t get none only after you’ve slept with dozens of these players. It doesn’t seem all that fair. What gives? Is this what feminism has done to women. (Now I’m not pinning this on every single woman out there, just the ones who know who they are)
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I know…it serves these sl utty women right..they r the ones that miss out in the end.
It’s what they like
Normally I’d give advice on this subject but you’ve got a dark way of looking at things so I’m not.
excellent question, i am afraid i dont have an answer for i am one those “nice guys” you mention above, but i am awaiting some answers just like you
It could be said the same about guys. Both sexes are to blame for their silly behavior.
I know I’m going for the good guy. I’d rather have a nice guy to spend my life with than be stupid in my youth.
They think they are the one’s that can “change” his ways…it’s a challenge to them.
I posted a similar question a few days ago, the best answer I got was that women don’t think nice guys are “exciting”.
i.e., Those certain women (like you said, they know who they are), are simply selfish. They want the fun of a bad boy but the security of a nice boy. I think they need to get a grip and realize they can’t have it both ways.
It’s a macho thing. The playas got the lines, are in good shape, maybe they are athletes. The girls are aroused by them. The good guys are too shy, too intimidated or are scared to talk to them. By the time the girls get older they are ready to settle down and want the good guy. The playa are used up or have 3 kids by 3 diff girls and arent as attractive to them anymore. Just be yourself no matter what man.
You sound kind of bitter. Sometimes, I think, that woman think, that they can reform a player/pickup artist into a nice guy. But that don’t always happen, does it?
OK, first of all, we don’t all act like that. Women who sleep with men right away, or sleep with the ‘wrong’ kind of man are women who are looking for love but don’t know what it really is or how to get it….usually deficit in some mental way. I would further guess that girls that act like that when they are young at some point get some mental help and then become ‘normal’ and want a normal kind of life. ‘Bad boys’ only hold fascination for a certain kind of woman. Where have you been looking anyway. Us girls who like the ‘normal’ guys early on are not hanging at the bar —we are going to college, getting ready to have a career and are interested in activities that don’t require a beer bong.
Maybe cuz the ones who wont come out from behind their own fear, will look at letting the person they are attracted too slip right pass them. U snooze U lose
Some women love “bad boys” and it’s weird. Usually they had some kind of issue in their family of origin where they didn’t get the kind of love and acceptance they really needed, so they set themselves up so they can never get it. No, it’s not feminism, in fact it’s the opposite. Most women running around sleeping with guys are the opposite of a feminist. Feminists know that they are worthwhile enough they don’t have to sleep with whoever comes along. It’s low self esteem, plain and simple.
Since you are a “nice guy” you deserve a “nice girl” who knows she wants the self respect that comes from not hangin’ out with those bad boys, which make her feel worse about herself. Be patient and a nice girl will come along and appreciate you for who you are.
As a woman who can admit that she has made a few wrong choices in her past mate picks, all I can say is that the way you want to look at this situation is wrong. You are not a woman.
You see, women have this nature about them that they think and believe they can fix everything, can change men in trouble and that they are deserving of awful treatment when the plan backfires.
Feminism hasn’t done anything bad to women. In fact, feminism has woken up a lot of women to realize that although we may think we can do all the things I mentioned above, that we really can’t and that’s OK. Feminism has given women the opportunity to stop falling into the gender role trap and start thinking clearer.
Women say they want a nice guy. But like men, they want that to a point. No guy wants to go out with the church lady. Men like “bad girls” too. Women like “bad guys.”
Danger is attraction.
You learn from your mistakes. And we all make mistakes, so maybe instead of being so angry and judging people by their pasts, you should try to look past it all and move on. You might find a nice and smart girl.
Players do not come out and say that they are such! Usually they are players in nice guy clothes…They tell you all of their emotions, how they have been hurt or cheated on in the past (though they leave out their wrongdoings). They always tell you that they **** liars, and yet they have highly attractive charm and tons of confidence which basically seals the deal…then after they had some fun, they drop you….on the flip side, the genuinely nice guys usually do not come off as confident, which is unattractive. So when a women thinks that she has struck gold, a nice confident guy, often times she is just being played!
hi,
some women are like you guys who want to sample the merchandise before you buy it.yes you have heard women want nice guys and you are right. i have always heard guys need to sew there Otes before they get married. so it’s a two way street. equal for men and for women. that’s what the feminist where talking about. and we still have a long way to go before we get there. why should you (guys) be the only ones who have the fun. as for those of us who are looking for the right guy will keep looking and the same goes for the guys that are looking for the right person.
1st off feminism has nothing 2 do with why these women ur talking about do what they do,if they put it out in the universe that they always date these jerks than that’s what they will receive from the universe.in turn 2 u open ur mind up 2 different women that actually have a mind 2 share with u.not just sex,2 offer yeah *** is great but if ur a true nice guy?u’ll have 2 seek a union of both mind and spirit 2 make u happy.4-get about the slut’s,there r women out here with all the quality’s u need & desire.
Who said women want a nice guy? Oh the women who want the nice guys (suckers) to hang around with if there is nothing else to do? I can walk into a bar, especially early and pick out all those guys. Then around 1am they start looking around for Suzie, I guess she left with someone else. Really sad. It is OK if you are really friends, but if you want to date a girl and she is not interested, then don’t kid yourself and hang around hoping maybe something will change. It won’t.
Answer to your question: Simple – Women want attention and have attention spans of gnats. Sorry not all, but this is a real phenomena today and something you can see over and over again by being out in public for 1 hour.
Players and pick up artists give them the attention. Also women are very competitive and petty with each other, so if a girl can get a “cool” guy even if he is a big BS-er then she feels she has one-up-ed her friends.
Then there is the false love factor, a girl wants attention and say sex, rather than rationally satisfy those needs in a healthy way many women have to drink and feel they were “coaxed” by a player. Then they can blame the drinking or the player.
Now looking at your comments another way, you should not be concerned with the macro social scene. It is good to understand it, but it is like saying how come all these young beautiful models in Miami date rich old guys, simple, they both are getting exactly what they want. Forget your concept of fair.
You need to find people with substance, they are out there, but you have get out of your comfort zone. Volunteer for some charity events, try out for a community theatre play, get a part time job at some interesting place (comedy club, jazz bar, Brazilian restaurant), join a coed tennis league, go to Europe for a month or two, etc. Good luck